One of the most interesting things about being in Israel is the choice one has of where to go for services on Friday night. I have been here for three Shabbats, and have had three totally different Shabbat experiences. On Friday night services are held early, so that one can go home or to friends for Shabbat dinner afterward (this is a format we will be experimenting with a couple times at Temple Bat Yam in the coming year).The first week I chose to go to Kol Haneshma, a Reform Congregation in the Baka area of Jerusalem. This is one of my favorite prayer services anywhere. The congregation is led by Rabbi Levi Kelman, an American who has lived in Israel for many years, and who established the congregation in 1984. It is a progressive, egalitarian congregation. The service is almost all music, and is lovely, contemplative, and joyful. It was the shul (congregation) where I davened (prayed) most often when I was a student in Israel, and it is always like going home when I go there.

            The second Friday my friends and I went to Tel Aviv to Beit Tefilah Israel, which in the summer meets in the port on the Mediterranean Sea. Beit Tefilah describes itself as a “young and fast-growing, liberal and independent community” which was established to reach out to secular Israelis “who are looking for new ways to explore the world of Jewish communal and spiritual life, free of any preconceptions or restraints.” Their service has wonderful music, with several musicians and singers and includes modern poetry and music along with the traditional prayer service. It was very moving to pray with about 700 other people on the shores of the sea. Beit Tefilah is THE place to be in Tel Aviv on a Friday night; families, singles, young  and old sat together and sang, prayed, danced, and brought in Shabbat as the sun set over the water. It was an amazing experience.

            The past Friday I had a totally different Shabbat experience. I attended a modern Orthodox congregation called Shira Hadasha (which means “a new song”) in Jerusalem. This congregation, although it is Orthodox and does adhere to Jewish halakah (law) actively includes women in the service. There is a mechitza (a curtain down the middle which separates the men and womens sections), but women lead parts of the service. Orhodox prayer books are used; in this congregation there are various editions of the prayer book, and so no page numbers are given out (because everyone is on a different page in their version of the prayer book). One has to know the service to be able to follow along. It is a lovely service.

            Three Shabbats, three different experiences. Only in Israel. And yet there is nothing like praying and celebrating Shabbat with one’s own community. I look forward to being with Temple Bat Yam this Friday, as we all, in our special Bat Yam way, celebrate Shabbat.

I’M A PARENT—WHAT DOES THE RELIGIOUS SCHOOL WANT FROM ME?

This month I would like to put on my hat as Religious School director. First I’d like to share with you a story (which comes from my colleague Rabbi Bruce Raff of Temple Judea in Tarzana California). This story illustrates the important of both parent’s and children’s attitude toward Religious School.

It was the best of Religious Schools…It was the worst of Religious Schools….

Michael went to the best of Religious Schools. He had the finest teacher who

cared about what he was teaching and to whom he was teaching. Jonathan went    to the worst of Religious Schools. The teacher was boring and did nothing in  class.

Michael’s school had a wonderful principal who became involved with the

children and their families and saw to it the school was well run. Jonathan’s

principal was an annoying fellow who constantly badgered the parents about

poor attendance, repeated lateness and lack of preparedness for class.

Michael’s school was modern. It offered trips, sleep-overs, family programs,

music and more. Jonathan’s school was old-fashioned. It expected students to

learn Hebrew, Bible, history and do homework.

As his Bar Mitzvah approached, Michael’s parents asked how many extra parts of

the service he could do. Jonathan’s parents asked if he had to recite so much

Torah, because after all, his school never taught him how to read Hebrew.

Michael went to the best of Religious Schools…Jonathan went to the worst of

Religious Schools….Michael and Jonathan were in the same class.

Each of you sends your child to Religious School because you believe there are important things we need to teach your child. For each family these things may be different. Some want Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation; others are looking for a connection to the Jewish people or to Israel; others want to root their children in the ethics of our people or in our heritage and history.  Our Religious School will do all that, but we ask that you JOIN us in the process—-that you be partners in the Jewish education of your children, by attitude and actions.

We need your enthusiastic support. I have found that parents’ attitude, perhaps more than any other factor, ensures your child’s success in Religious School. What you say, or don’t say, can be as significant shaper of attitudes for your child as what you do or don’t do.

Here are some guidelines to help you have a successful Religious School experience.

1. Share your support and enthusiasm for your child’s Jewish education. Share with your child why a Jewish education is important to you.

2. Try to convince your child that you have confidence and respect for the Temple Bat Yam teaching staff.

3. Share interest in what is being taught in Religious School. Ask specific questions about friends, craft projects, Hebrew letters taught, mitzvahs discussed, songs sung, etc. Ask your child to share a religious school topic during a family meal.

4. Visit your child’s class.

5. Sit with your child in the sanctuary for Boker Tov time.

6. Came early with your child and share a bagel from the bagel bar. Schmooze with the other parents; stay during Religious School so you can see what is going on—read the paper, use your computer, whatever, but be there.

7. Discuss Jewish issues at home. Share Jewish experiences you had as a child or a teenager.

8. If there is a problem, take it to the appropriate person. If there is a classroom concern, so to the classroom teacher first. My door is always open to talk to parents about any concerns. Avoid airing your complaints to friends. This just escalates the problem without finding a constructive solution.

9. Be a role model and involve yourself in Jewish life at Temple Bat Yam. There are wonderful services to attend, a myriad of opportunities for adult learning, and many social activities. And we have an active sisterhood and men’s club too.

10. At Temple Bat Yam, Religious School is both fun AND educational. Get involved and keep an open mind. Have a positive attitude and you might be pleasantly surprised at what an outstanding experience religious school can be!